Friday, June 28, 2019

The heart is the true kabba:)

Before we started our walk we went to Brahma Vidhya mandir, Pavnar to seek blessings from the elders some of whom have walked thousands of kilometers as part of the land gift movement along with Vinoba Bhave. 

I remember having a conversation with Usha tai around ego and relationships. To expand on the idea she shared about one of the practices that they follow in the ashram, Sarvanumati i.e consent of all. This meant from the smallest to bigger decisions all were made only after each and everyone in the ashram comes to the consensus. There are thirty of them living in the ashram for many years practicing the same principle.



She explained further with an example saying, “If I want to conduct a workshop at the ashram, the proposal will be put across everyone in a meeting. If everyone agrees to it, I will go ahead. But if there is even one person who is not willing to have that workshop, the event will be kept on standby. Unlike the majority where 51% wins against 49% which happens in a democracy. 49% is equivalent to zero. But in the case of Sarvanumati even if 99% of people agree to one thing, 1% view is equally taken into consideration because each one matters."

We asked her how do you feel when your project or something that you really want to do is kept on standby or is told no?
She very gracefully answered asking us, “what matters more “my project” or my love for the other person who is saying a no? Yes, to some extent my ego will feel bad because there is an “I” associated with “my project” but if I am able to extend my boundaries of love for the other person the “I” really doesn’t matter.”

Here is a small note by Vinoba ji that I found on ways and means to bring consensus and the difference between Sarvanumati and Sarva sammati.

On that note, SheelaTai in a different conversation said something equally powerful. She said no matters what happens but don’t break someone's heart. It is a very sacred place and it reminded me of a poem by Rumi which says:


Circle the Kaaba of the heart
If you possess a heart.


The heart is the true Kaaba,
The other is just a stone.
God enjoined the ritual
Of circling the formal Kaaba
As a way for you to find a heart.
But if your feet walk
Around the Kaaba a thousand times,
And yet you injure a heart,
Do you expect to be accepted?

Just thinking how would the world be if we looked at each heart as Kaaba, as a place of pilgrimage:)

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

I am the Universe


In my dreamlike state, I had always imagined myself sleeping under a tree with the sky hanging up. On the fourteenth day of the moon cycle, my wish comes true.

I lie down on the ground under which lies a web of strong roots. Some ants are busy collecting their food.

I can see the moon peeping from the roots hanging down from the banyan branch; reminding me of ‘change’ being the only ‘constant’ yet looking at it is bringing some stillness in me.

I hear crickets rubbing their legs to create symphony around me.

The leaves gently dancing as the wind comes to greet me.

The cow is making her presence felt by ringing the bells tied around her neck.

Meanwhile, I hear the dogs barking far in the dark old corners of the fields. 



The night has engulfed the light so I can’t see the river flowing beside me. But I still know she is there with me.
Likewise, there is so much that I cannot see but it’s all inside me; the leaf, the ant, the roots, the star, the earth, the moon, and the river. Every unit is part of me.

I am the universe. The universe is in me. The universe is me.   


Thursday, June 13, 2019

Extending the gift of presence:)


There are a few events which you feel like rewinding and this was one of them. As we were walking on the highway we saw a dog stumbling with a car. The car driver did not stop. Meanwhile, a teenage boy came running towards the dog and held him in his arms as if holding a small baby and started running towards his home. Midway we saw him pausing and placing the dog on the road.

Swara asked me if I would want to go to the kid and I said yes. The kid kept holding his tears while looking at his dead dog. Meanwhile, the boy's grandmother came running in our direction and started scolding him for carrying his dead dog home and for all the time and love that he had invested behind the dog. More family members joined in the chaos. At the back of my mind, I had flashes of a few deaths that I witnessed and how the social chaos did not let me get in touch with how I was feeling. It had taken a few years to connect and listen to that voice again and make peace with it.

In between the grandmother looked at us and identified us as parikrama-vasi so she invited us for tea at her place but we denied her invitation for the time being and kept standing with the boy and the dog. Swara intertwined the chaos and asked the boy if he wanted to pray for a few minutes for his dog. Tears kept flowing while we held hands and prayed in silence. I could feel the pain of death, my own attachments, pain for lack of space for expression, and for being vulnerable.

One of the family members gave him a washed shirt as there were bloodstains on his cloth. He silently changed it. His mother asked him to go after the buffaloes whom he had left in the farm so that they don't eat away the harvest. With a heavy heart and a little hesitation to leave the dog, he started walking towards his buffaloes. Before we left that spot Swara asked him if he wanted to cremate his dog but he denied, partly because of the social pressure I assume. We saw him slowly walking in the direction of his buffalo as we started heading towards the highway.

We looked into our bags if we had something to share with the kid and we found some grapes that someone had given us in the morning. Swara went to him and shared it along with a few pocket change that she had and told him to do some act of kindness with that money. Before leaving she extended a big hug to him. 

When Swara started walking towards me the boy called her and started checking his pockets. Swara thought he would be giving back the money. Instead, he took out the two ice candies that he had got for him and his younger brother and shared it with her saying one is for her and one is for your sister:) I was witnessing this beautiful moment from a distance and this time it was tears of love that were flowing from our eyes. We knew how priceless those ice-candies were for the child and to witness his giving especially when he had lost something very close to his heart was invaluable. We were walking one of the driest patches without a single tree on the road on a sunny morning. This encounter with the little kid made our hearts drenched with unconditional love and was reminded of this song that Arun dada sings which has a line saying, “Ankho ma pani to have ne jai nathe bhetar bhinash thate oche”. (Water in the eyes comes and goes. But the moistness within never dries)    

While reflecting on what just happened in the last hour, I realized, I might have witnessed the accident, maybe prayed, and silently walked ahead. It was a gift that my co-pilgrim extended to me because of which I experienced the power of presence. I was thinking in the later years if the boy might remember us. Not sure of that but I would at least make an attempt to pause and share my presence next time. Grateful to my co-pilgrim for being the torchlight; where my consciousness ends, she gently shows me a step further:)




Wednesday, June 5, 2019

The Mother

dear friend shared this song with us in the middle of our pilgrimage. And I feel so grateful to her because this song felt as an expression of our unsaid experience of being carried by some unknown yet a known force gently across the rivers, ocean, mountains, thorny roads, marshy land, and thick forest trails.

If asked, how would you describe the smell of the wildflowers or the breeze touching your eyes or the smile of a newborn child? How would you describe the love that you have received from your mother? I might be able to share her actions or say her "doing" part but not the essence of her "being" and the omnipresent love that I feel at all times. Likewise, it is hard to put in words the unconditional love, care, and compassion that wraps us day and night. 

As the artist shares, this song is a dedication to the feminine, to birthing, to compassion, love, to mother nature,  mother earth, mother Reva, to all the mothers before me, to all the mothers after me and to all the mothers around me.   
  
"She is a boat, she is a light
High on a hill in dark of night
She is a wave, she is the deep
She is the dark where angels sleep
When all is still and peace abides
She carries me to the other side,
She carries me to the other side...

And though I walk through valleys deep
And shadows chase me in my sleep
On rocky cliffs, I stand alone
I have no name, I have no home
With broken wings, I reach to fly
She carries me to the other side,
She carries me to the other side...

A thousand arms, a thousand eyes
A thousand ears to hear my cries
She is the gate, she is the door
She leads me through and back once more
When day has dawned and death is nigh
She'll carry me to the other side,
She carries me to the other side...

She is the first, she is the last
She is the future and the past,
Mother of all, of earth and sky
She carries me to the other side,
She carries me to the other side..."


p.s- We even have a version of this song by Rev. Heng Sure



Friday, May 24, 2019

Sometimes it is like this, Sometimes it is like that

Today morning while walking on the highway I saw trees on both the side of the road making a canopy above us. My mind said, oh! I don’t need trees now. This patch should have come in the afternoon when the temperature is at its peak. 

Likewise there are days when we are offered meals more then once while on some days we would just have a packet of biscuit. It was interesting how during our afternoon breaks we would be invited by extremely warm host families who would even request us to stay for the day. Its tempting to accept the request as evenings would be a difficult time for us to find secure and safe space to stay the night. I hear my tired mind say where do these warm hosts vanish after sun set. 

This mindset was taking me away from being in the present moment, from embracing the gifts that I had in the now. 

And it was latter that I realised that this pilgrimage was all about being in the present. As soon as I was finding comfort or attachment with a person, place or thing, it was time to move on. Attachment with the past was bringing suffering for the future.  

So the next time when the cloud came in front of the Sun to give us a little shade, or a child came running giving us a smile, or we took a little longer route we remembered Kanti dada and with gratitude started singing

"Game game game life is a game. 
We came crying crying 
We shall go laughing laughing 
Sometimes it is like this, sometimes it is like that 
Game game game life is a game"


Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Share some change :)

We hear a voice calling us from the other side of the road and when we pause we see this old grandfather waving his hand. We cross the road and greeted him. Narmade har!!

He started searching for something in his pocket. We asked him what was he looking for? He replied by in return asking us if we had three rupees change. We checked our pockets and found a ten rupee note which we gave him. He returned us the note and kept checking all his pockets. In the meanwhile Swara dropped a fifty rupee note in his upper pocket not sure if it was to tag him or so that he can give that to us.  

He kept looking for about five minutes. Swara asked him to check his upper pocket that’s when the neighbor said that he can’t listen because of old age. Finally he nods saying he can’t find it. He wanted to give us some money because we were pilgrims.

We tell him to just bless us and he smiles and shares his blessings. In a local dialect he shared that he has also done the pilgrimage. When I showed him his picture on my phone he laughed out loudly and waived us goodbye. 

We remembered our grandfather who would give us not more then five rupees during Diwali. Jokingly I told Swara that even if he would have found the fifty rupee note he would have asked for forty eight rupees change:) 

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Endless Love of Sakhi's


Few days ago we met these extraordinary grannies in a village. After crossing a little stream, trekking a rocky hill and walking through few farms we reached Bel Gau. As we were walking through the village we found a little space (otlo) to sit. We sat there for some rest, water and snacks.

There were friendly nods and greetings with people passing by. We shared snacks with kids. They suggested that we can go to the nearby temple where they serve food in sometime. There wasn’t any laziness or resistance but we didn’t get up. We kept sitting. In the middle of all this a granny invited us to her home for a cup of black tea. And both of us just started walking with her. She was coughing badly as she was leading the way.

She said I will call my friends to meet you. All of us did parikrama few years back and they will be very happy to meet you. One by one the grannies started coming and they referred each other as “Sakhi” which means friend. There was joy and deep respect they had for each other which was so subtle.

At one point while we were sharing, I looked at one of them who was listening with her complete presence. I could feel that. The stillness and her presence made me feel so alive and quiet as if you are in a forest or in front of a mountain. We rested there for sometime and when I woke up, I felt I was in the company of these extraordinary angels.

One of the grannies sat with us for sometime and then she gently asked us if she could go to her farm for sometime. She promised she will come back soon. We hugged her and waived good bye. Later in the afternoon she brought us fresh carrots from her farm :)

Some of the distinct qualities that they shared was respect for each other, deep listening and sharing of good things that anyone encountered. All of them were farmers which means hard work each day round the year.

In just s few hours we got to see a little glimpse to their way of life, the quality of their presence and the universal love from a mothers heart. A gang of eight women came with us for half a kilometre just to say good bye. When we were walking with them we could sense courage, strength and oneness beaming from each soul. We kept telling them to return as few of them were not wearing their chappals (shoes) but they continued walking. While we hugged and asked for blessings they kept holding back their tears and shared words and blessings giving us courage and strength for our journey ahead. It was an immense gift to receive these subtle gifts in multiple forms.

Nishkam Seva (Selfless Service)

As we were getting closer to Amarkanthak a bunch of us got an invitation for black tea. It was an unexpected yet a pleasant invitation as the man who was serving us tea had his shelter almost in the middle of a forest with hardly any people living around.

He asked us to follow the orange sign boards as we walk further into the forest. He showed us a sample sign board we were meant to follow. We got curious as we had seen these boards in some of the remotest places.

We had all these questions -Was it a group of people? Or the nearby villagers? Who puts up these little markers?

We asked him if he knew who made them. He said for eight months I serve all the pilgrims here with tea, food and shelter and the other four months when they are not walking due to rains I paint these boards, take some nails, select an area, cycle and put them up. He has been doing this for 12 years. What an invisible act of kindness!!! We bowed to him to share our gratitude and even shared how every time we would see the board part of us said thank you and part of us thought that whoever has done this must be crazy:) It was such a joyous moment for us to finally meet one of the faces of the one who has put so much effort just so that thousands of pilgrims who are walking do not loose their way. He has placed sign boards in the forests, hills, near river beds and few roads.

Like wise we spotted this earthen pot filled with water under a shady tree. The water must be quenching thirst of so many like us. When I looked around there were only farms which meant someone had put an effort to bring water from a distance. Yet there was no one whom we could thank in person. We just closed our eyes, shared our gratitude and walked with the seed thought of Nishkam Seva (Selfless Service.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Muddy roads and wild flowers

I feel as we transit from a four lane highway to double lane to the mud road passing by from a village we see the connection between people also transitioning. The more efficient the road, lesser is the probability of connection.

After finishing our morning part of the walk, we were sitting outside a mud house to rest for sometime and were reflecting on a few things. We noticed a few women looking at us with inquisitive eyes. While children were busy eating oranges and dates that we shared with them the adults were still holding that inquiry from a distance.

One woman sat a few feet away and kept looking at us. I could feel a constant gaze which was making me a little uncomfortable. We took a pause in our conversation and thought about connecting with her. We shared some fruits and waited for her to ask us something. But instead she just kept looking at us. So, we continued our conversation. We again asked her if she needed anything and she nodded in silence, indicating she did not want anything.

I felt so conscious that I could not eat or continue the conversation. I started creating a mental wall as I felt there was intrusion into the so called “my space”. I asked Swara if this kind of behaviour was intruding or say not courteous. She gave me a very different perspective to this. She said it’s not intrusion it’s their way to connect to strangers walking by from their village. It’s their way to care by just sitting and sharing their presence. Despite of not wanting anything they are giving their time and attention capital.

My understanding to this perspective deepened when we were walking on a four lane highway taking us to a big city. From my past experience of the last four months I knew finding shelter in a bigger place was always difficult. We thought of approaching a few homes before the city began. We were asked a few questions about our whereabouts. Even in villages we come across these questions, but in a city we feel there is a certain sense of mistrust and so we continued to walk further.

As we were walking towards the city Swara on a lighter note asked a few teenagers who were walking by our side if we could stay at their place to which they very genuinely shared that we cannot as the elders in their family consume alcohol and it won’t be safe for us. Interestingly they suggested that we could go to the railway station and sleep on the platform. They thought that would be a rather safe place for us:)

That day we must have crossed over fifty people but we hardly made an eye contact. We were hardly noticed in the big town, which was contrary to a small village. Despite of so many people being around, I felt lost. I felt vulnerable as we were struggling to find the right place to spend the night. It took me back to my urban upbringing where I would have missed so many opportunities to connect.

Both of us checked in with each other how were we feeling and interestingly while part of me was feeling vulnerable, part of me was even surrendering to the higher design. I told Swara that the mother has kept a place for all the pilgrims. We need to keep walking till we reach where we are meant to reach. And I could sense that the trust in the higher design shifted something in me. I think that something is the sense of certainty, the knowing. But pilgrimage is all about emergence:)

As we kept walking we finally found that place via a gentleman who showed us the way to the nearby temple. He came with us just to make sure we end up at the right place meanwhile we spotted a Gurudwara. We asked if we could stay there and that was our night shelter. This place felt like an oasis in the middle of the city. We soaking in the peace and pious environment of the space. While we were sitting on this side of the gate that side felt a little scary despite of being part of it for years.

Few questions that I am holding for now is have I made a distinction between these two worlds? What do I change inside me to merge both the worlds together? How do I keep alive the oasis inside me to nourish my surroundings?

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Invitation of healing in disguise

Last week while we were walking one afternoon, I noticed a red car passing by and I felt that they might stop and talk to us. While I took a break under the shade of a tree Swara came to me and handed me a packet of biscuits and roasted chickpeas. She said two monks stopped by in a red car and gave it to her. She added, that they saw me and felt that I wasn’t okay so they went a few kilometres just to bring some food for us to eat. 

It’s interesting how we connect. Like there were many cars moving on the road but somehow I noticed the red car and connected to the people sitting inside. One of the monks said that we would be passing by his ashram in a few days and if we wish we can stop by.    

The monk spots us again after three days while we were having fruit break. We shared smiles, bananas and gratitude for their kind gesture on that sunny afternoon. He warmly invited us to stay for a day with him and his sister who had just finished her third parikrama. And for the first few minutes we kept convincing him of how we had to walk 25 km that day and we had just just begun the walk. Finally we set a deal of having tea together after which we would leave. He partially agreed to it and took our bags in his car just so that we could walk without the weight of bags for a few kilometres.

His ashram was next to Narmada river at Sahastradhara. Green, clean and silent. Lalita di welcomed us with her warmest smile and she exchanged her experiences from her recent parikrama over tea. And they now convince us with more love to stay with them to which we couldn’t deny. Our minds took time to accept the “change” in the plan and that’s what pilgrimages are about. One has to let go and surrender to emergence which is difficult at times. 

Interestingly when my body knew that today we were no more walking it went into a repair mode. I started running fever and had some body ache and I knew it was time to just rest. Rest of the day while partly observing the sensations I realised how amazing our bodies are. Till the time I was on the road my body was all set to walk. As soon as I had a space to rest, it started repairing itself just so that I continue my journey in a wholesome way. 

In the evening while sitting with our host family tears of gratitude flowed for their invitation, space and uninterrupted presence that gave our bodies and mind the time to rest and heal. 

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Learning to look beyond

I saw two roads ahead of me but I avoided taking the shorter one, I spotted a butcher shop there. In the evening when both of us sat for our prayers Swara gave me a 10 rupee coin. She said a butcher after bowing gave it to her.

I realised it was the same place I had avoided going for two reasons. First, I was a little uncomfortable looking at the flesh and the caged birds and second a part of me was guilty of being a non-vegetarian some years ago. Between these two I missed the opportunity to connect to his goodness. 

He might not be earning much yet he thought of serving us on our pilgrimage. He was a non-hindu and this pilgrimage is mostly done by Hindus and yet he steeped into his generosity and went beyond the lines of religion. His act of serving helped me reflect on the judgement that I was holding and gave me that 'jai shree krishna' window. 

After placing the coin near the lamp, unknowingly, both of us silently prayed for him to someday move to the right kind of livelihood. During Vipassana course the teacher talks about Samyak Ajivika (Right Livelihood), where he says that any act that we perform should not harm any being directly or indirectly. I was even reminded of a conversation with Arun dada, where he said "rotli nani hase to chalse, kadi na hovi joiye" (let your bread be small but let it not be black).


Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Where 1 + 1 > 2

At some point I had thought to walk by myself. Not sure if it was out of arrogance or with the thought of being self sufficient. It was much later that I realised that the “ease” with which I could walk, sleep or simply be was because someone was looking out for me unconditionally. In the initial weeks of our pilgrimage I could feel a hand coming to me every mid-night just to check if I was safe after a tiresome day of walking.

There is a joke that my sister shares. She says. "for you taking up this parikrama is like love marriage whereas for me it is an arranged one". For me it was the love for the river and it's sacredness whereas for her it was her unconditional love for me. She said yes to purely support my calling and discover her love while being a part of it. When I asked her what made you say a 'yes' to something like this which wasn’t on your bucket list ever and especially when it wasn’t just about walking for a day or two. It was a long term commitment for which I personally took almost 3 years to prepare. With a smile she says, "I have tried taking a few initiatives where mostly I have failed to get support. I understood that if we put our ego aside what matters at the end is saying a yes to anything that is good. It doesn’t matter who is leading it. All of us can be co-creators for the greater good." 

In my 30 years this is the first time when we are doing almost everything together be it washing clothes, preparing food, praying, attending nature’s call, and most importantly walking together for almost 9 hours a day. She says the joy is in doing “ordinary” things “together” which makes the whole experience “extraordinary”

Many a times I overlooked the strength of two. I would tell her why do you need two people if the same task can be done by one person. She gave me the analogy of the ant colony where for doing one task there will be number of ants. The system is if one fails the second will move forward and if the second fails the third will take over. Here the efficiency might be less but there is high resilience. 

When I see someone so selfless in front of me it helps me see the selfish corners in me. Apart from
having someone to listen, to share, to give a fresh perspective, to share jokes and laugh aloud, to massage my feet when in pain, to find strength in the last leg of our day...she holds my edges in a gentle way giving one more chance to change which definitely requires lot of strength and love. 

I could have never soaked in the beauty of this pilgrimage if I was by myself. To briefly share about her sense of being/ philosophy/ practice I am reminded of the African proverb which says- “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Deep deep gratitude to have her as my co-pilgrim for life

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Stitching my ego

I could see my toe from the small hole in my shoe which was getting bigger and bigger day by day. I kept delaying the repair and the day came when I had no option but to do something about it. 

We asked a few people if there was a cobbler in the village but there wasn’t any. I thought of mending it myself but I wasn’t sure if I could manage. The person whom I asked looked at my shoe and said let me try. I asked him if he has done it before to which he said, not really. I row boat but this would be an opportunity for me to serve you. 

I was observing him and the very first thing that struck me was the love with which he was doing it. A part of me was feeling embarrassed as I knew how dirty my shoe was and he was holding it as if they were a bunch of flowers. While he was doing it I could sense some discomfort in me. The fear that I was holding all this while of not knowing versus the effort this man was putting in something that he hasn’t done before in an effortless way. It’s amazing how in a village everyone knows everything. And how my “education” or my urban upbringing was inhibiting in doing something new. . 

As I kept observing my mind I arrived at a thought that shook me. My mind made a discrimination and said that this is not my job. It is a lower job. I realised the root of this thought was coming from the social conditioning that I have grown in. I couldn’t believe my own thoughts and a part of me was feeling ashamed. The resistance of not doing it myself was not only fear of doing a new job but also this deep conditioning. I wanted to get up and give him water to clean his hands but I couldn’t go beyond a courteous thank you. 

I just kept sitting with these discomforting thoughts that evening. The neatness of each stitch reminded me of the lost opportunity to share my gratitude. After that day, every time I look at that patch on my shoe it reminds me to practice humility. 


Thursday, March 7, 2019

Grace

After walking a 200 km stretch crossing some remote tribal villages and forest trails we reached Amarkantak on March 4th on the auspicious day of Mahashivratri. Amarkantak is the mouth of the river from where it starts flowing towards the sea. It flows west covering many thousand kilometers serving infinite beings with her love. 

This place marks half of our pilgrimage.While sitting at the Gurudwara in Amarkanthak the next day tears kept flowing thinking about the past three months of our journey. It is pure grace because of which we could walk a thousand kilometres and it would be too selfish to say that “I” or “we” walked so far. It feels beyond my capacity. And the tears were of gratitude for the unknown yet known force that has led us here.

When I think of the web of grace that is constantly flowing by our side with my limited mind I know I am not being fair to the hard work of infinite beings including our lineages and nature which is constantly blessing us with abundance. The tears were even for the limitations that the mind was creating to see beyond self and creating ownership for something which was beyond the “I”. 

The prayer for the rest of our journey is to look beyond the “I”, be humble and grateful at each step in the lap Mother Earth, Mother Nature and Mother Reva and embrace the nature of a mother being always gentle, forgiving, giving, content and compassionate:)

Saturday, February 23, 2019

When I Walk

When I walk I see a line of ants crossing the path.

When I walk I wonder about the symmetry that the butterflies carry.

When I walk I see the wildflowers sprouting from the rocks smiling wide at me.

When I walk I see the wild lizard camouflaging between the dry leaves.

When I walk I breathe in the smell of the wet soil and the leaves.

When I walk I relish the wild berries fallen on the ground.

When I walk I connect to the tree by touching the bark.
Sometimes I pause to count the number of rings on the trunk.

When I walk I hear the songs of the winds.
Sometimes when I pause, the stillness in the silence helps me to connect and listen to my own breath.

When I walk I listen to the sound of the splash made by the tiny fish.
Sometimes when I pause I see the ripples in the water created by the wind.

When I walk I know if Sun God is gentler then yesterday to me.
When I pause in the evening I see it waving goodbye to me.

When I walk I am able to see, hear, touch, smell the natural world that’s enabling me to wonder, be, connect, and slow down.

- Writing from Dhuadhar in the midst of a forest trail. I hear Narmadaji flowing some 30 feet down gushing and dancing in between the marble rocks.


જયારે હું ચાલુ છું .........

જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , હું જોઉં છું કે કીડીઓ એક હરોળ માં કેવી મારા પથ માંથી પસાર થાય છે 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , ત્યારે મને પતંગિયા ની સપ્રમાણતા વિષ્મય પમાડે છે 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , હું જોઉં છું કે વનફૂલો પથ્થરો વચ્ચે થી કેવા મને સ્મિત આપી રહ્યા છે 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , હું જોઉં છું કે કાચિંડો કેવો પ્રકૃતિ સાથે એકરૂપ થઇ જાય છે 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , ત્યારે હું ભીની માટી અને પાંદળાઓ ની સુગંધને મારા માં ભરી લઉ છું 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , ભૂમિ પર પડેલા ફળો મને એક બાલ- સહજ આનંદ આપવી જાય છે 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , વૃક્ષો ના થડનો સ્પર્શ મને તેમની સાથે જોડે છે , કોઈ વાર હું ત્યાંજ રોકાઈ ને તેના વલયો ગણવા લાગુ છું 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , પવન ના ગીતો સાંભળું છું , અને કોઈ વાર હું આ નીરવ શાંતિ માં મારા જ શ્વાશ ને સાંભળતી હોઉં છું 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , ત્યારે આ ભાનુ કાલ કરતા કેવો સૌમ્ય લાગે છે અને સંધ્યાં જાણે મને અલવિદા કરતી હોય તેવું લાગે છે 
જયારે હું ચાલુ છું , ત્યારે આ પુરી સચરાચર સૃષ્ટિ ને મારામાં અનુભવી રહી છું અને જાણે એ તેની સોડ માં લઈને મને શાંત અને તેનામાં એકરૂપ કરી દે છે 

Translation by હિરેન ધૂળા


Monday, February 18, 2019

Rowing My Boat

While rowing my boat what will keep me flowing and floating while being anchored in equanimity, love and compassion.


Friday, February 15, 2019

Kindness Towards The Dead

While walking we see many dead animals and birds lying on road mostly due to accidents. From the day we started walking we would move them on the side and share prayers.

Yesterday someone saw us moving a dog that was lying dead on a high way. He asked us why do we do that. We did not have an answer then. One of the logic was to remove an obstacle for those who are driving. In retrospect we realised that the first time both of us did this act was during our 30 days inturnship in 2014 when we were walking with a friend.

A bunch of us were walking next to a water canal when he saw a dead dog. He said, let’s put a plastic bag on our hand and move him aside. We did it and shared our prayers. He added every being has right to be treated respectfully even if dead. We think the seed was planted then. Since then it has become an involuntary act. We still don’t know why do we do but it feels satisfactory.


Friday, February 8, 2019

Sab Mein Narayan

Written by my co-pilgrim Swara

Today morning as we left from Saatdev village a dog came running to us. I guess he figured out who the dog lover was and kept jumping on Trupti. He would keep playing and pulling her dress. In between he would go and play with the buffalo till it would get annoyed. Interestingly he kept walking with us for a kilometre. 

With this playful morning the chant that came in my mind was: Hari Narayan... Hari Narayan..This prayer was introduced to me by a dear friend where he would replace the word Hari with a friends name .. like Trupti Narayan, Sheetal Narayan. It just points us towards seeing the divine in everything. 

In the tone of the playfulness of the morning both Trupti and I started singing by taking the names of near and dear ones. And gradually it kept expanding friends, family, teachers, neighbours, the dog and the trees and the birds.

And what happened next was amazing. There was a subtle encouragement we gave each other to say the names of people with whom we might have created some boundaries and we saw the dance of sensation inside us. Just observing it for sure was shifting something in us. And we continued sending love and prayers to everyone. What started as a playful chant ended in stillness and sharing metta.


Sunday, January 27, 2019

Gratitude to the forest

Bowing in reverence to Lakkadkot Forest.
Few days ago, our shelter was a temple in the middle of a forest. From here we had to walk a stretch of about twenty km that was without any human habitation. This was the first time when I was walking in the middle of a forest and I was in the awe of the tall trees, water streams, colourful chirping birds, setting sun, the wind, the rocks and the twinkling stars.

While observing all of this I felt I was a guest here. Guest to the age old trees who would be standing here from decades spreading their roots deep down while growing up high in the sky. Some of the roots were so huge that we were almost climbing over them. There were many of river beds that seem to flow during monsoons and were dry in this season and a few river streams that were still full with water. While putting our feet in those streams we could see the fishes dancing around our feet.

Every time we paused for a break we could hear the sound of the winds and during other times we were walking on a carpet of fallen leaves that were turning into the soil again. Dry leaves were happily falling down as if making space for the new ones to sprout in the spring. I could feel the presence of rocks that were helping me hold my feet. We kept seeing and hearing sounds of a variety of birds. One of them was this big grey bird. We felt like his presence was that of an old wise grandfather, still and silent.

Few animals had marked there presence by leaving their foot prints behind. We knew there were wild animals around. And I asked myself if our presence was an interference for them as I was walking in their paradise. But they made sure that we walk out safe.

A single unstable rock could have changed my experience but all that came our way was taken care of by an invisible force. As we stepped out of the forest, we took a few moments to share our gratitude to Mother Nature for the uninterrupted, wholesome journey with her.

Thursday, January 24, 2019

GPS vs NPS

I could so much relate to this weeks Awakin passage. So instead of GPS we have the NPS - Nature / Natural Positioning System. 

We rely on people and wilderness for direction. It gives us an opportunity to connect to shepherds in the middle of the forest or a lone farmer ploughing his field or people from a close by village. We are learning to recognise and learn names of trees. The directions here are like - take a left after you find a banyan tree, walk in the direction of the rising Sun, let the river always be on your right. 

There are times when there are no people for a couple of miles. What do we do then? There are flags. People who have walked before us put up these colourful cloth flags as signboards. We feel so grateful each time we see them in long stretches of forest. We look around for footprints when sometimes there are no signs. Sometimes animal excreta also gives ups hope and we feel we are not lost 😉😅. And sometimes we tune in with the birds and animals and they show us the way. At night the light of the moon helps us find our way. 

Today, me and swara were chatting about how when we ask people in the forest for direction, they tell us to take the highway instead of the forest route. They tell us that we will definately get lost. We were thinking, what is the use of having an iPhone or a GPS or a Masters degree when we cannot understand the basic sounds and signs in nature like - bird calls, footprints, winds and the list goes on. 

We are in Sita van (Valmiki ashram) the place where Sitaji gave birth to his two sons Lav and Kush. Since two days we are walking through a forest. And the forest is going to continue for a few weeks. 


Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Little Guiding Stars

Rohit with the little kid he is taking care of. 
When we reached Ram mandir at Sulgav we saw a teenage boy holding his grandmother's hand and gently taking her somewhere. He saw us entering the temple and quickly ran to get a plastic sheet for us to sit on and rest. He is then busy answering questions of other pilgrims. He makes quick runs to a nearby shop and gets things for pilgrims. He takes us to the place where lunch was being served. In between he is also playing and taking care of another kid younger to him:)

His name is Rohit and is in class 7. Swara calls him and asks about the grandmother. He said she is blind and she wanted to go to the temple so was just helping her out. We asked him how about serving all of us, why do you do that? He said, you are doing something good. You are serving river Narmada and I am serving all of you.

This little tot was in his school uniform so we inquired what was his daily schedule like. He said "Before going to school at 10 am and after returning from school at 4 pm, I am at the temple. I will be late at school as the person who takes care of the temple and pilgrims has gone to the market. He gave me the charge to take care of everything till he is back. I will tell my teacher the same thing." :) As soon as the temple care giver came he took his school bag and ran off to school.

It was so amazing to see this kid tuning in with everyone and everything that was happening at the temple. We were struck by his gentleness, prompt response, mature conversation and his inclination to serve with so much love.

In the evening we met eight year old Shyam. Before responding to any of our questions he would
Shyam my little teacher. 
take these little pauses. We could sense his thoughtfulness and the genuine sharing. 

We were having dinner and he was partly sitting with us and partly watching television. I was telling Swara that the food was a little spicy for me. 

Shyam who was still looking at the screen told me as a matter of fact, “you eat what you get and some day if you don’t get anything you just eat a packet of biscuit and sleep, that is how it is when you are in a pilgrimage”. I did not expect anything like this coming from a kid, but yes my youngest teacher was telling me to just go with the flow. 😊

Kumbhar :)


We were in Dhamnod village where we met Bhagwan bhai. Bhagwan bhai is a potter. We watched him change a blob of clay into earthen pots.

Once the pot is off the wheel and just about to get into the kiln, the potter keeps one hand inside the pot as support and uses the other hand to tap the outer surface to make to strong and give it shape.

Reminded me of this analogy with relationships - if the hand inside is that of love the relationship can withstand many outer storms.

The round darts that you see in the picture is for the inner support while the flat darts are for the tapping. Bhagwan bhai shared that the weight of the inner darts is always heavier then the outer darts. Looks like the weight of love should always be greater :)

On a sunny afternoon when I am fetched a glass of cool water from a similar pot I know the amount of love and labor that someone has put in with a lot of gentle tapping.

@Ghaths of Maheshwar.

Monday, January 7, 2019

Rang Hai :)

We were walking the 20th kilometre our last stretch for that day. And, we saw a beautiful dome in the middle of few trees. 

The sun was about to rest and we still had to walk a few hills but I felt like walking inside the mosque. Thankfully the lines of religion are not that strong in villages. This might be my perception but I am happy with it as it helped me connect. There were few women cooking inside the premise and two children running behind a puppy. Part of me was hesitant to go in and so I asked a gentleman if I could go in and he showed me the way.

It was a tomb of a Sufi saint. As I bowed down tears started rolling down my eyes. My heart felt deeply touched. I could feel warmth in that space, it felt like I was resting on a mothers lap.



From Kali Bawde: Madhya Pradesh


Sunday, January 6, 2019

Antidote to Scarcity

When one is on a pilgrimage there is uncertainty. In such a state, the mind looks for certainty and sits as the gate keeper to raise red flags. On the other hand the ones who have walked this path before tell us to just have faith and you won’t sleep hungry and without a roof.

One of the rules for a traditional pilgrimage is "ask nothing and refuse nothing" which reminds us of Brother David. This means one has to have faith in humanity and trust. To step into this way of being takes time and this results in hoarding. Hoarding on to food, extra bedding for cold, the usual route and many other mind patterns. When we walk with all of this we start feeling comfortable and secure in the first few days. Slowly one starts feeling the weight of all that, alI that I kept storing for tomorrow.

In the first week my mind went through so many mental calculations that I stared feeling more tired of it then walking. There would be times when I won’t eat so that I don’t have to share my food. Finally we decided to just give it away. We stared sharing it with children who came running to us greeting Narmade Har. The smiles that they shared fuelled us and gradually the weight of my mind and my bag started reducing. It is in the giving that we receive as Nipun bhai says.

The design of the universe is crazy. As we stared giving, we stated receiving. We would give in this village and people would give us in the next village.When we walk in front of their homes they invite us for tea. When we walk from their farms they offer us groundnut and sugarcane fresh from the harvest. The oldies who are sitting out in the sun bless us. When we reach any where at lunch time, they offer us from their share. In the evening when we reach a village, a bunch of them arrange for a safe place for us to sleep. Some offer us money to buy food and the offerings are endless.

Everywhere around us we are seeing the abundance in nature. Tall trees giving shade. Birds singing songs. Cranes on the river banks taking its gentle flights. Small puppies licking my toes. Dew drops shining like pearls as the early morning sun rays touch them. Squirrels running ahead of us. Butterflies spreading their colour across the green field. Bells of the evening prayer. Night lamps far in a home helps me to connect with someone whom I don’t know.

It’s interesting how each day I walk to this new village, I sleep under a new roof, eat with new people, as things starts to get a little comfortable and certain, it’s time to move on:)

And as walked we were singing "We have enough we are grateful share the the blessings bodhi swaha" fondly remembering Rev. Heng Sure.

This design has taught me to trust. There is a higher plan which is taking care.

The heart is the true kabba:)

Before we started our walk we went to  Brahma Vidhya mandir , Pavnar to seek blessings from the elders some of whom have walked thousands o...