Beyond boundaries

There were no physical borders except for a check post and we walked into the first village of Madhya Pradesh called Chhatkala. Due to plain lands and mountains, the cold wind was greeting us straight on the face. We kept walking behind each other keeping in mind the birds that fly high in the sky.

We reached a resting point. It was just both of us in an open grilled temple premise. We rested for

some time and then I went to look out for another place to sleep at night. I walked through the market place. It took a little while to ask. I finally approached a fruit vendor and asked if there was any space to stay for the pilgrims. She pointed to the same temple. She figured we were looking for some other place. There was silence for few seconds and then she shared how she wants to take us at her home but she is not offering as the male members at her house consume alcohol. She herself is not happy with that and she did not want us to be there in that environment.

She took me in a lane next to her stall and opened a dark room with smell of stored fruits. She said, “this is safe, you and your sister can stay here”. Her neighbours discouraged the idea. We walked back to her stall. I could see how much she wanted to do something for us. She offered us fruits from her stall. I denied but she said you are like my daughters, so keep it and share it with your sister too. She wasn’t a Hindu and parikrama might be out of context for her but her compassion didn’t have the boundaries of religion. I took the fruits that were now full of love and somehow we didn’t ask any further for place to stay.

In the evening both of us along with few others sat for the evening prayer at the temple. The prayers,

Temple Priest and Mai

silence, people’s faith, oil lamp, musical instruments - everything gently was healing the scars that the ego had created. After the prayer as we were about to spread our sleeping bags the temple priest asked us about our journey and in a moment he invited us to his house. He said its cold here and house will be safe for us.

I do not know if there is heaven up in the sky but his home was our little paradise where I had the most peaceful sleep after leaving home. In the morning we were treated with hot water for bathing (hot water has been a privilege so far) and morning tea with fresh milk prepared by Mai who takes care of the farm.

Baba walked with us to show us the way and greeted us Narmade Har showering us with his blessings.

As we enter the first village of Madhya Pradyesh (Chhatkala)
(This blog is written by my co-pilgrim Swara)

What’s the message

Being a Vipassana practitioner, I was aware of sitting as a meditative practice. I had never imagined how much walking could churn my mind and bring up the gross and unresolved elements to the surface.

After the days walk, I observed that I dreamt every day and in the morning I could remember these dreams crystal clear. Personally dreams have been like a mirror and I try to draw messages from them to understand the unresolved stuff.

Despite of knowing that I have to practice observing my thoughts and sensation of pain, I fail each day. And I know that spill over does affect my co-pilgrim.

Today during our silent time while reflecting on a few thoughts a middle aged gentleman came to us and offered us a marigold flower. No words were exchanged, just the gesture of giving and receiving, and a few seconds of gratitude and we stared walking again.

Later in the evening when we were reflecting it struck that the gentleman walked straight to us out of nowhere. There were no farms of this flower around yet the flower was fresh. It wasn’t that he had many flower and he offered one from it. He just had one flower.

The question that we are holding is what is the message that he brought to us with that flower.

Joy of Unknown

Today morning we stared from Garudeshwar. After walking for about 150 km it feels as if I am entering an unknown territory. Unknown in terms of the geography because these are places I haven’t been to as against all the other villages we crossed before. From here on we will be walking in the tribal belt, hills, sparse scattered mud houses, local tribal dialects, less to no traffic and small patches of farms. With that kind of silence unknown in the cities, we can hear children giggling from half a kilometre away. 

While walking in the known spaces I knew people, places, kilometres, which way to go, where not to go, almost everything. Today was the first day when I knew nothing, not even the name of our next destinations. But there was joy in not knowing, in the uncertainty. 

A few kilometres of walk into the unknown and the gifts of the day start to unfold. Jagdish bhai stopped his cycle after greeting us Narmade Har and invited us for tea at his place. While we were walking to his house, he has done the pilgrimage thrice. 

He took our phone number and told us to stop at Undava village at his sisters place for lunch. He said her name is Amba and she stays next to Hanuman temple, just go there, I will tell her to prepare lunch. Not only lunch, he fixed our lunch for day after also. 5 minutes of interaction and our two meals got fixed in to homes that we have never been to. When we ask the question why – the answer that comes to us is that because we were walking on this path. This path is known as the path of Vairagya (path of renunciation). People here give with no strings attached, we feel that all the time. 

Jagdish bhai made sure that we take the right turns with the GPS of his heart we reached Jeevanpura (Nani Ambaji) our shelter for tonight. 

Signing off from Nani Ambaji

Lineage helps dissolve the 'I'

In the afternoon we reached Garudeshwar. This was our second home after Sinor. My granduncle stays here. When he was 28 years old and his nephew who was 26 at that time left home to live in solitude and spend time in longer meditations. They settled down in Nardeshwar which was an abandoned Shiva temple (a place that has mentions in Shiv Puran) in the village of Garudeshwar, which was a forest. This temple and a small hut were the only two structures for kilometres. For 21 years they had no running water or electricity. They bathed in the river and would carry water from the river for their other utility. The nearest village was a 3 hour long journey if you could catch only bus after crossing the river. Their food for all these years was moong (lentil), bhakhri (rolled flat bread) and ghee (clarified butter). Their day would start at 3 am in the morning with morning japas (reciting of certain word or sounds for concentration) and would end at 9.00 pm. 

Recollecting those days, dada would always say he never knew when day came and night set in, there was no sense of boredom or need to break silence or do something else. There was a constant state of awareness that permeated through day, night and many years. It has been 60 years of personal cultivation and service in this lifetime. This cannot not be followed by a previous lifetime of such cultivation, I guess !! After he was born till 7 years of age, he would take the ashes from the mud cooking stove; apply it all over his body and sit quietly. He did not talk for the first 7 years of his life and my great grandmother accepted that as a matter of fact and let him be. She felt this were some conditioning from his past life he is still carrying and did not want to disturb him by interrupting in any way. 

My mother’s childhood and growing up years were spent here. This place had a strong influence on her spiritual life. I feel privileged to share that lineage. I have always come here in the past but could never connect the dots, my attraction to the river and old Shiva temples, all of it is part of this shared experience that comes from the lineage. Our forefathers have stayed and meditated for many generations on the bank of this river. 

The realisation is that it is foolish to think this journey ‘my own’. It’s the fruits of their cultivation and we are surely at the receiving end of it. It’s their blessings through which we have got this opportunity to connect to nature inside out. We surely know that we are being held each day by them.  

Dada was sharing how he once wanted to do the Narmada Parikrama, but his spiritual teacher asked him to sit in one place and cultivate. And, so he says, ‘while my feet are in one place my prayers are reaching the universe.’ We felt a mothers love in his presence. It not only healed our physical pain but touched many parts of our heart. While he sat with us we were wondering if we were interrupting his daily practice, to this he said, ‘if this conversation is going to bring more peace to your heart, then this is my practice and worship to God.’ 

As per the “rule” a pilgrim can stay in one place for 3 nights but when someone requests you to stay with such tenderness and love you can’t deny. Today would be our last evening with him. This space, people, their experience and conversations have helped deepen our intention and given us the opportunity to think more deeply of personal practices that can ground us and be more equanimous. 

Om tat sat. Narmade har. 

Day 11: Garudeshwar (Nardeshwar)

Serving the server

We started our walk early morning after saying goodbye to the cook who had warmly welcomed us the night before at Kuberbhandari. We got the opportunity to sleep in Annapurna (kitchen of the temple) where with a sweet smile he serves hundreds of people everyday. 

We had two options this morning; either we take the high way or the mud way. We chose the latter. The morning was cold and silent. And the rising sun was spreading its hue gently in the sky. 

After walking for about 10 km we came to Moraya village where we met Batuk Maharaj the monk who welcomed us for lunch. While chatting with him we got to know that he was from Madhya Pradesh. I asked him what brought him here and he shared that while he was doing his parikrama he saw that in this particular stretch of 20 km there was no one serving the pilgrims. So after he finished his parikrama he came here and started to serve pilgrims. 

We asked him if the village people were supportive and he said not really but with the grace of the mother (referring to the river) things keep flowing. And he has been serving with the same faith for last 10 years. He cooks, cleans and hosts every single day. 

Today we took this opportunity to serve the server by making not so perfect rotis (flat wheat bread) for the pilgrims who were to walk in. While we were rolling out rotis we felt a whole lot of emotions like a little irritation when the dough was a little to soft, some tiredness out of the walk, some discomfort as the kitchen setting was different. 

But what shifted our minds was thinking of these hosts who keep serving anyone that walks in with so much ease. We were even reminded of what Ganga Ma (an elder at Brahma Vidya Mandir) had shared, she said anything that is done with unconditional love and without expectations only that will touch the other persons heart. 

Just after a couple of minutes we were walking in his home as if it was ours and the kitchen felt like ours. When few other pilgrims joined us for lunch the joy of sharing those rotis was so satisfying. This space gave us a little glimpse of how serving others just multiplies joy and divides pain. 

After taking our afternoon nap we started walking towards our next destination. Narmade har. 

Day 8: Kuberbhandari to Tilakwada (Mani Nageshwar)

Loving Thy Neighbor

We were walking towards our ancestral village and as always I felt a lot of joy. The difference was that this time we were pilgrims. Some of our family was there to receive us. 

While we were entertained in my cousins new built home I heard an old lady asking our whereabouts. Later I discovered that she was our neighbour staying next door. In the next 24 hours we heard different people responding to her in high pitch rude tone and trying to ignore her. Later I discovered that the new home where we were staying in once belonged to her. All her life she has stayed alone and her extended family takes care of her basic needs. Her home looked shabby and dark. Her thoughts are little repetitive and random. She doesn’t step out of her house ever. May be that is why people called her mad. I was not really sure if that was the case. 

In the evening me and Swara thought of spending some time praying in silence. This is when Swara taking the neighbour along. I definitely had resistance as I was looking for some quiet time. But her intention changed my mind. One reason definitely was to bring her out of the four walls but the subtle intention was to reconnect her to life - to the river, with the mother (referring to Narmada river). Swara shared that we might not be able to do much, may be just share some maitri (loving kindness) and who knows grace might flow through her. 

All three of us sat in silence and watched the sun set while hearing some prayer bells ringing in some temples. 

May we all become compassionate and wise  :)

Signing off from Sinor 

The Little Signs of Impermanence

As I wake up in the dark to set my foot out with the rising sun, I see Venus shining bright in the sky like the light house at night. I see the changing shades of blue to pink to orange at the horizon bringing light and warmth to my body and soul.

Just a few steps more and I see the terrain changing. Some times it is the tar roads running miles together. Sometimes it is the sand that travels inside my shoes, sometimes it is the thorns that keep me aware, sometimes it is the cracks that reminds me of resilience, sometimes there are stones that remind me of myself and sometimes it is the flowers that brings beauty in the wild.

As i hear my own footsteps I hear the voices from far away. And there are times when the noise in my head overpowers them all.

The times I climb uphill I know there is a way down. Paths are made by walking so let me walk this path. As I meet new pilgrims I see myself in them, sometimes it brings wonder and sometimes an ego boost.

As the sun starts going west we try finding our little home. Each day the roof changes, each day a new host. At times there are few walls, at times a little window, at times the cold wind requests us to sleep close.

As I get comfortable with all that I got today, tomorrow is standing just a few feet away. As I get on to hold something, impermanence knocks on the door as my destiny.

My Father

I know this man walking in front of me from last 30 years. I call him Columbus as he loves studying maps and exploring this big world on his 25 year old bike.

He is hardworking and a silent worker. When I think of him the glimpse that I get of him is doing something with his hand. He mends hearts wherever he goes by mending any machine that’s not working. For him no work is too small to do. The virtues that he holds speaks more of him then his words. He gets uncomfortable when given credit. He is a simple man with minimum needs. Being truthful is something that I have learnt from him. This gentleman got introduced to me as my father.

Today he joined us for almost 20 km walking nonstop and with the enthusiasm of a child. What a blessing it was to have him with us. If there are two things which I can ask for, it would be forgiveness and gratitude. Forgiveness for countless mistakes and misbehaviour. And gratitude for holding all those behaviours with love.

The warmth, love and blessings with which he has sent his two daughters, it must have taken lot of courage. There are endless occasions where I have missed saying him thank you. With this note I just want to share my gratitude for having him as our co-pilgrim in this lifetime.

Our first meal

After our family's traditional farewell, we walked from Nilakanteshwar Mahadev toward Nikora. People kept guiding us and shared blessings wherever our feet halted.

Around 11, I felt some sensation in my stomach, and this sensation is the oldest association we have I feel - I was feeling hungry. While trying to watch my thoughts, I saw this huge banyan tree beside, which was a small not so organized space. As soon as I reached in front of that place, I had a feeling we might get food there.

Additionally, this massive tree was a great invitation for some rest. I paused there for a while, smiled at the gift of nature, and started walking ahead. As I looked back to see where my co-pilgrim was, I saw her precisely at the same spot where I was standing a few minutes ago, and across the road, I saw a monk waving his hand to call me. And I smiled thinking of how when we are connected to ourselves and nature, we tune into these invitations.

I realized that even after receiving the invitation, part of me resisted it because of my ego not asking or receiving. I thank him for inviting us. What a blessing it was to have lunch with him. Most of the time, we were silent, and the only thing he kept saying was, khao ma deti hai tum khao. (Eat, Mother Narmada, gives, so just eat).

He later shared that while he cooks for himself, he cooks in a way that 2-3 more people can also eat. It was interesting to see that in about an hour, we saw so many people walking in. Some people came to receive the Prasad like we did; some came to give him food or some material so that he can serve more people, and all the time, he kept saying it was all Mother Narmada doing it. It was beautiful to witness such faith - that an urban mind might look at the faith in the river, but actually the faith to walk in the unknown and the heart to surrender.

While sitting near his chulha (handmade mud stove), I could see the whole dance of giving and receiving happening here, where he was so effortlessly juggling all that he was receiving into effortless giving without taking any credit. After serving us food, he prepared beds for us to rest and started making tea for others walking behind us. So no concept of pausing or a break.

While we took leave, he said on your way, you will find many places to stay and many people with various experiences; just take things that will make your heart happy.

"Just keep the faith, tension nai hai ( do not feel tensed) Narmade har" were his last words to us.

Inception of our pilgrimage

Two weeks ago a passage Preparing For The Extraordinary: An Essential Practice was read out at Awakin Circle. It made me think of all those extra-ordinary incidents that have led to who I am at this very moment. In a few days, I and my sister will be embarking on a walking pilgrimage circumventing the river Narmada.

Many people asked what inspired us to do this. When I think of it, my very first association with the river Narmada was because of my grandfather and his forefathers who chose to stay on the banks of Narmada.

As children we spent our summer breaks there with my cousins eating mangoes, swimming in the river, sleeping under the open sky at night gazing at the stars and constellations. The huge banyan tree that you might see in the picture used to be our second home. We would climb the tree, play around it, swing on the roots coming down from its branches.

Besides that huge tree is an old Shiva temple. I always felt that this place as my second home. As a child, I use to inside the temple, clean a little bit, and observe the oil lamp burning in the dark. Something which has constantly stayed with me in all these years is the stillness and peace that I have felt in these old rustic temples.  I remember telling my mother that when I grow old I will spend my last years in a similar temple on the banks of Narmada. And I still feel the same. This intention I feel is now manifesting into our walking pilgrimage. I feel grateful to my grandfather and his lineage for choosing this place as there home which became my home too:)

Talking about Reva which is another name for Narmada, I feel her as a live entity and not a river. Around her, I feel like being around my own mother. While growing up, every time I use to visit her, I kept telling her that I will come back and stay with you someday. Here I come:) Someone asked me if I was worried and I said not at all. Do we worry when we go to our mother's home, we don’t? In fact, her warmth and love melt's it all. I surely know she is going to take care of us with her deepest compassion.

And as I grew up a little more I heard about pilgrimages taken by few friends with the intention of finding God, good in the others. I got an opportunity to spend some time with these people and I realized that they are like you and me but they definitely took an extra-ordinary path to serve the world with their ordinary ways of being. Their journey has gently intersected with mine in different ways and I feel them walking ahead of me in this pilgrimage. And their presence gives me the strength and courage to walk the path ahead.

With all the happy stories, I feel equally grateful for all those people who walked in my life with sandpaper and helped in rounding my edges. The hurt that my heartfelt, the rejections that my ego felt was all a blessing in disguise. I saw beauty in being vulnerable. It showed me the depths of my resilience and the tenderness of the heart. Grateful to the U-turns, dead ends and certain crossroads that brought me to the right destination.  All those people who have walked into my life have woven a thread into this intention and they would be walking with me on this pilgrimage.

As I close this note I am reminded of this poem by Rev.Heng Sure  he wrote on his bowing pilgrimage:

"Being brittle and hard is easy;

    It takes courage to be kind.

Being stingy and selfish comes naturally to the weak;

    It takes strength to be compassionate.

Holding on to the self is not wisdom;

    It takes faith to let go.

Doubts and fear are greed for benefit;

    It takes giving to be happy."

Blessings

As an adult I use to think to myself, what would sustain my life? Will it be money, material o rmy university degree? After checking out all of them, I can easily conclude that my life is fuelled by heartfelt blessings.

As we started preparing for our journey we saw blessings flowing in different forms from around the world. At a logistical level, except for our clothes there is not a single thing we had to go and buy. Gradually the spectrum of blessings started getting subtler and subtler. It started pouring in in the form of prayers and silence.

There are no accidents says Master Shifu and me bumping into few Buddhist monks at Gandhi ashram wasn’t a coincidence either. I was holding this intention for some months to say prayers at Prarthana Bhumi  (Prayer Ground in Sabarmati Ashram where Gandhiji prayed everyday morning and evening). I landed there absolutely unplanned a couple of days before the pilgrimage. Just as we finished our prayer, a friend came along with few nuns and monks. We all sat in a circle, we said our prayers and when they knew about the pilgrimage, they offered blessings.

And these kids that you see here, they are our local Santa beaming joy all the time. Their biggest gift is the spark in their eyes, the contentment in their hearts and the curiosity in their mind. They are like a family now and our doors are always open for them. As a part of our farewell all the kids wrote a beautiful letter for us sharing their prayers and wishes.  A lot of their prayers were like, “Didi do not pick up a fight with anyone. Take care of your health. Do not walk too fast. Cover your ears, chest and legs from harsh winter winds.” Every single advice from our little friends was just bang on.

And this picture is from my work place. It is a shelter home for women who are at risk and my work is to create healing spaces for them and somehow create a common interactive space between them and the officials.

The day I was leaving for parikrama, all of them got together and prayed for both of us to have a peaceful journey for the coming months. It takes a big heart for the vulnerable self to pray for the other and their prayers showed me the power of love. With all the hugs and warm wishes they did not let me go without having puri and kheer which was part of their lunch.

These are just few stories. The blessings that we are being showered with makes me feel like the meteor shower on a dark night. It feels as if each stone, each tree, the falling leaves and the wind are blessing us on the path that we have chosen to walk.